Making Self-Care Doable: Micro Moments

I meet a lot of parents and foster carers who know that they have to “fit their own oxygen mask first” to look after their kids, but who struggle to find time as they juggle family, work, and life in general.  And so, this blog is about “Micro Moments of Self-Care” for busy parents and carers. 

When you’re raising kids, especially in the midst of big emotions, challenges, or everyday chaos, self-care can feel out of reach. But it doesn’t have to be a long bath, getting a massage or a weekend away.  Sometimes, it’s the smallest moments that make the biggest difference.

✨ What are micro moments of self-care?  They are tiny, intentional pauses (10–60 seconds) where you gently turn toward yourself—your body, your breath, your thoughts—with care, compassion and awareness.

✨ Why do they matter? Because your nervous system is always listening. When you’re constantly “on,” your body can stay in a state of stress (fight/flight) or shutdown. Micro moments act like little reset buttons, helping your system come back to a calmer, more connected state. 

And importantly, as a parent or carer, there’s the ripple effect: when you feel more regulated, your child can borrow that calm from you.

✨ How do they work?  In a nutshell, they help your nervous system, your thoughts, your feelings and your perspective:

• Nervous system: A slow breath, a pause, or a grounding moment signals safety to your body

• Thoughts: You interrupt the “I can’t do this” loop and create space for a kinder thought

• Feelings: Even a brief pause can soften overwhelm or frustration

• Perspective: You shift from reacting to responding

✨ What does this look like in real life?

• While making school lunches: pause, take one slow breath, drop your shoulders

• Sitting in the car before pick-up: place a hand on your chest and say, “I’ve got this”

• After a tough interaction: step outside, feel your feet on the ground, look at the sky

• Waiting for the kettle: unclench your jaw, soften your face, take 3 slow breaths

• When your child is escalating: silently remind yourself, “This is hard, not personal”

✨ How to weave them into your day?  Think “already there” moments:

• Waiting (kettle, traffic lights, school line)

• Transition points (before entering the house, after bedtime)

• Repetitive tasks (washing dishes, folding laundry)

No extra time needed—just a shift in attention.

Self-care matters, and it isn’t something separate from parenting.  It’s something that supports how we show up in it.  Even 10 seconds counts.

You don’t need to do it perfectly—just often enough.

Leonie :)

Dr Leonie White - Clinical Family Therapist and Psychologist

Helping people grow, connect and thrive in life’s unique journey.

Please note - this article is educational in nature and does not constitute therapy advice. 

Please seek help from a professional if you require support. 

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